Addicted to Strife
Most people would agree that making the world a better place is worth the time and effort to achieve such a goal— even though they might disagree with each other as to how this should be accomplished. Depending on whether you take a short or long view, a personal or a transpersonal approach, there are many differing opinions on just what that word “better” might mean. The unique experience of every individual contributes to this diversity, and the inability to find — or even look for — common ground adds to the difficulty of coming up with a plan that all or even most would see as viable or preferable.
In order to accomplish anything significant on a scale that is meaningful and sustainable, it is essential that we at least try to find things we can agree on and modify, to some extent, some of our long cherished ideas. Compromise isn’t always easy. Giving up a position that you feel is valid and perhaps even beyond question requires flexibility and sometimes courage. The results, however, can be worth the sacrifice. It’s necessary to weigh which is more important — sticking to your guns or actually getting something done.
Unfortunately, there are often other factors that interfere with achieving the greater good. Pride, the sense of not being able to back down because doing so would give an edge to someone else, can be a tremendous obstacle to individual and social progress. There is in our culture a tendency to view things through a prism of winning or losing. The competitive instinct — and I do believe it is something inherent in our make-up, just as is cooperation, each emerging under varying circumstances — gives us a sense that we cannot allow others to get ahead of us. In this view, other people become our adversaries, perhaps even enemies who must be vanquished or at least held at bay.
It’s bad enough that we have this mechanism functioning within us in the background of our minds, coloring our perceptions and affecting our decisions once it is brought forth by certain triggers, but there is another element that creates a kind of self-perpetuating cycle. Any feeling of being threatened — and having enemies certainly implies this — has a biochemical, physical effect that is closely intertwined with how we see and feel about our situation.
The classic “flight or fight” response involves the release of adrenaline in our system. Adrenaline, of course, is a hormone that gives us energy so that we can deal with whatever crisis we perceive. That rush of energy can lead to feelings of fear and apprehension, but it can also give us a sense of strength and an increased vitality. It’s clear that many people seek out that adrenaline rush.
There are a variety of activities that simulate danger — riding on a roller coaster or watching a horror movie come to mind. Adrenaline is also released in competitive situations — or even through the vicarious experience of competition such as watching a football game. Any kind of game, in fact, involving competition awakens that instinct and rallies the body’s resources to meet the challenge. This leads many people to seek out those activities for the thrill of the release of adrenaline. They get hooked on it, as it were.
While amusement rides, movies and games may seem harmless enough — and in themselves they are for the most part — the feelings they awaken and the desire to reawaken such sensations creates a pattern of addiction. Certain thoughts and perceptions themselves can feed this craving — feelings that divide and lead us to believe that we have enemies who must be dealt with to avoid being overtaken or defeated by them.
As the feelings become more and more entrenched, they form an ongoing attitude of antipathy that continues the cycle. The more repeatedly we feel anger towards a perceived threat, the more we feed on the surge of energy that is produced by these emotions. We become, in short, addicted to these feelings of antipathy.
There are many problems that arise as a result of this. Strong negative emotions can cloud the mind and compromise a person’s judgement. Once caught in this cycle it is often difficult to pull back and see the situation more objectively. A feeling of justification may arise — a kind of righteous indignation. This attitude can simply simmer or erupt in a full-scale expression of violence.
While such emotions can take control, there are certain safeguards built into society that prevent individuals from carrying out acts of violence — at least in most cases. But longstanding prejudices, grudges and the desire to thwart those who appear to be a threat, form a kind of backdrop, instilling a sense that life is a kind of contest — a battle that’s carried out on many levels and in many ways. It is the subtler forms of antipathy that can be so much more insidious. It is this subtlety that makes that kind of contentiousness more difficult to root out and resist.
Those who avoid more direct expressions of anger or feel they are somehow immune to it often don’t see how it can creep into their view of others and the world. They tend not to realize that any feeling or expression of disdain, as justified as it might seem, is really a milder type of more virulent forms of hatred. There would of course be a significant measure of denial that only makes this harder to identify. And because it is so energizing, it only buttresses respective points of view, creating a greater degree of self-righteousness.
While it’s easy to see how this mindset can fuel bigotry and tribalism, people often miss the impact it can have on society as a whole. In the realm of politics and governance, the effects of animosity and contempt for those who don’t share one’s ideology create a vast rift between people that interferes with their reaching a reasonable compromise. Political demagogues exploit this kind of aversion for their own self-promotion, and their followers willingly indulge in the demonization of opponents. This process takes on a life of its own, generating energy in those who view others that do not think like them with contempt. The more threatened they feel, the more energized they become as the adrenaline flows through their nervous systems.
The first step towards breaking any addiction is in recognizing it, which isn’t easy. When anger or concern dominate your view, you must step back and ask yourself whether you’re really seeing the situation clearly. An immediate emotional reaction by itself is not the problem as much as a brooding preoccupation that makes it more likely that we will increase the intensity of hostility, undermining our attempts to live together peacefully and cooperatively. Fear or alarm can provide useful signals, telling us something is wrong, but once that thing is called to our attention, we need to assess the situation with more circumspection.
Any time we feel anger or express contempt or ridicule for an individual or group, we should be alert to the effect it’s having on us. This kind of increase in energy stokes the fires of enthusiasm we see at sporting events, campaign rallies, protests and any other kind of event involving some form of confrontation, either experienced as spectators or participants. It keeps people coming back for more and indulging in the same kind of activity or mindset. It is also the dynamic of how war is fomented and how society as a whole becomes a battlefield of competing interests.
Ultimately this type of response inflicts a great deal of damage on individuals and our culture. A sort of cult of adversity thrives on this proclivity towards anger, sowing the seeds of mistrust and pitting us against each other. Suspicion and fear dominate social interactions. Life is perceived as a struggle between individuals, classes, races, corporate interests and nations. This perception cements the reality of ongoing struggle in our minds. When one person or one group gives in to this predatory impulse, it awakens the tendency towards conflict, invigorating those involved with the energy of the very will to survive. Adrenaline surges and the cycle goes on and on.
Once we see how this is all linked and how easily we can be engulfed in this mindset, we have to do our best to disengage from it. More importantly, we have to maintain a level of mindfulness that will prevent us from slipping back into a contentious way of seeing and behaving. We mustn’t allow ourselves to think that these feelings of anger are justifiable and necessary to overcome whatever obstacles we perceive. If there is a problem — if we find ourselves faced with adversity — we need to evaluate our decisions without falling into the trap of responding with hostility, which only makes things worse. Even though shouting slogans or denouncing the injustice of an opponent may feel good and energize us and others who share our beliefs, this only reinforces an addiction we need to free ourselves from in order to find a lasting and healthy resolution to the problems we face.