Communitylessness
It’s a common sight in many cities – at least in the parts of those cities where there is less concern about avoiding cosmetic unsightliness. They are there, lying on sidewalks, covered in tattered blankets, rags or newspapers to ward off the cold, sitting helplessly, some hoping that pity will touch the heart of some passerby to offer them a few dollars now and then. They are forgotten people, forgetting themselves and others around them who look away and walk by, trying not to be affected by the tragedy they encounter. We call them the homeless – people without homes, without four walls, a roof and the other amenities most other people manage to find for themselves – but the problem goes much deeper than simply not having a place to live.
Why are they there? Answers are as varied as the individuals themselves. Mostly, the story goes, something broke them – something went wrong. They are often said to be mentally ill, substance abusers or victims of just bad luck. They’ve fallen through the cracks, giving up on themselves and the world from which they’ve been estranged.
What does it mean to be homeless – without a home? A home is more than a house – a house, by itself, is not a home. A home is a place of nurturing and caring – a warm, protective sanctuary that provides emotional and spiritual sustenance. So, to be without a home is to be without love – to feel unloved and cast aside. To be left to languish on some cold, dark street, faceless and nameless.
There are some who believe that homelessness is the result of some basic character flaw – that simply buttressing a person’s sense of confidence and self-worth will make him or her capable of carving out a niche in society to establish a place that can be called home. From this perspective homelessness can be cured by giving a person temporary respite while they get their act together. It’s then, following this train of thought, a case of simply making a person whole again through intensive care and inspirational encouragement.
But is it that neat and easy?
There is a prevailing attitude that the world, as we’ve become accustomed to it, is something to which we must conform. Those who fail to do so and find themselves on the fringes are expected to adjust their ideas and behavior accordingly. What this means for people whose lives have been shattered is that they must pull themselves together and reestablish their self-sufficiency and relative autonomy. That sounds reasonable to those who believe this is the inevitable order of things. But what they might not realize is that acting alone and independently may not be part of our essential human nature. True, we can survive to some extent in this state, but can we really thrive?
It’s been observed repeatedly that human beings are social creatures. Our sociability developed, it’s been said, as it has in the instances of other species, as a survival strategy. This aspect of our nature runs deep – it’s one of the things that makes us essentially human. Our minds and perceptions are shaped by our own experiences but also through the experiences of others. Language enriches our minds and extends our awareness beyond our own limited time and place. Our lives are thus interwoven and interdependent. Our self-sufficiency is limited and exists only within a larger framework whereby we survive through a collective effort.
But even though it’s obvious that we need each other, various factors have led to a kind of estrangement that separates us and, over time, weakens us. Some manage to find ways to compensate for this weakening, but many others pay a high price. In truth we all suffer in some way when we mistakenly believe that we can go it alone, even if only in the ominous, underlying realization that should we suffer some personal calamity that renders us unable to take care of ourselves, we will then be reliant on the mercy of others – and if we live with a notion that we really can’t rely on others, this is a scary thought.
Those who are most affected – who lose all motivation and faith in their ability to function in this kind of society – fall by the wayside. Others suffer from anxiety and depression. Some turn to drugs and alcohol to cope. But so many of these problems seem to be rooted in a feeling of vulnerability that comes from a sense of how precarious life is, especially when we feel we need to face hardships without help. While there are institutions that exist – charities and government agencies – that will provide support for those who urgently need assistance, many others who are simply living with the threat of indigence or incapacity, who are still functional but going through life with a kind of low-level fear, experience that fear daily, and it has a kind of debilitating effect that can lead to more serious problems.
Adding to our isolation there is also a certain degree of pride involved too, which is based on how others perceive us. Admitting that I need help is admitting that I am not fully capable of taking care of myself — creating the impression, I might think, that I’m weak and incompetent. Doing so, can be stigmatizing me and isolating me even further. There is a sense that neediness places a burden on those connected to those in need, leading them to avoid those who require help. The smaller my circle of family and friends, the greater that burden can become. This is why not being a part of a community can have such a negative impact on our lives. We lack the immediacy of actual human presence as well – a sense of seeing and knowing people are actually there, hearing their voices and seeing the sympathy in their eyes. This is incredibly important and severely lacking in a society that has become socially fragmented.
It is this lack of community, I believe, that is at the heart of all this. The homeless lack a home – a loving body of people who they feel actually care about them. They are communityless, at the most acute stage of that state, but so many more of us are as well, experiencing the same kind of emptiness and paying a price for it that at the very least leaves us feeling lost, lonely and sad. It is a condition that can’t be solved by simply pulling oneself up by the bootstraps and enduring it with stoic perseverance. We need to feel that there are others who care – and that we also are part of something where we care about others as well.
Instead of merely trying to help those who are struggling to find a place in the world and end their homelessness simply adapt to a way of life where they are expected to fly solo and maintain a stiff upper lip, we should be creating opportunities for them to come together, live together and help each other. I’m not saying that doing this would be easy. Living without this kind of support for so long breeds mistrust and can dull people to the needs of others. But we must see how important this is and not simply throw the communityless back on the cold, dark, empty streets and hope for the best. Helping them means more than hoping they’ll adjust to a system that essentially generated their problems to begin with.
And building community can do even more – it can act as a kind of preventative medicine, stopping the slow decay of self-worth and capability that prolonged isolation promotes. So many of us who are living in houses and apartments, going to work, paying our taxes and taking care of ourselves may make it seem that everything is fine as we go about doing what is expected. But communitylessness is not just a problem for those who are living on the street – it is a widespread condition that must be addressed and alleviated to improve the quality of everyone’s life.